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senbons · 8 months ago

Note

I love how you put the note to discuss the ending scene in ch 2 because I NEED to discuss it!

I dont know if I interpreted it right but "you could do it" was more like an invitation than a challenge. She wasn't challenging him. In my head she was asking him to release it, release them. They both want it and they both knew. And SHE knew. But when his fingers grasps too tightly into her neck, she realized and that's why she is so scared. She did not expect it. She thought she got him. (And you fucking got me. Really thought that they were gonna kiss until he mentioned that he's imagined doing it to her for years lol). I think that was the first time she actually realized how much he hates her. Like, hates her. He is so hard. But he's been through alot. The beginning of the chapter and the brief explanation about the occupation, the war, and his family really gives so much into that end scene. The feeling of frustration and guilt Shikamaru experienced in this chapter brought tears to my eyes in the end (even tho it ends with him looking at his sperm-covered hand lol).

ANYWAY, THIS IS ALREADY SO FUCKING HOT.

It's sad but it's hot and it's soooo goood I literally shiver.

Just please fucking update it soon!

LOLOLOL that's not AT ALL what I wanted to discuss about the last scene -- my reasons were absolutely without substance 😂 dying that you're like making a critical analysis and I'm just giggling in the corner like "hehehehe semen"

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Interesting interpretation of her line. I honestly don't think it's incorrect at all. I love so so much that you're focusing on it -- and forcing me to really articulate my way through it! I love that! In my take it also is said with multiple meanings/intentions, and then, of course, his action leads to more mixed/multi emotions.

I took first and foremost her line as a power play. Like showing that he has everything he needs in that moment to do what he wants to do most -- her life is literally on a silver platter before him. Like a pig with an apple in its mouth put before a starving man -- and that he stilllllll won't do it because she is (ALWAYS) in control of him. He will look at the pig but not eat it (weird analogy idk why i'm running w it). So it's like her showing off and also torturing him kind of with her power (but obviously in that really subtle way where they know it, but it's overwhelmed by the other thing -- it isn't a torture he wants to escape in the moment, even if he knows in the back of his mind he should). Really the "you could, but you wont" part of it.

Second, I think her line is also a kind of a dare. And I mean that not as a challenge... because even though I think the challenge is part of it (see above) I think the dare is kind of like... idk, a request for him to actually do it. Not to push him, but requesting him to do it. To make her physically feel the weight of herself. Like he said, she's stifled. And obviously has really complex feelings about her own life and role. And so there is this "do it" kind of proposition that has this unspoken "please" on the end of it. And to have him do it would be different because she has this thing with him. Whatever it is, they have a thing. He describes it as something in this chapter, but regardless of the truth of it, it's definitely a thing (whatever that means) (also please write me later (after next chapter or so) because i have more thoughts on this issue but dont want to say too much yet!)

And then, also, as a third thing (though honestly there's plently more one could get through here) there is the sex. Like, obviously, there is always the sex. The touching, the control, the desire to be controlled, the intimacy of that specific action (not at all trying to advocate a choke fetish please do not take this that way like the way people had a tie fetish in aibg 🤣🤣🤣 (everyone read that nyt article about the prevalence of choking in teens? bc im not saying im not into it, just be aware! 😂)

I think the squeezing of the throat scared them both because it was some form of actualizing all of the above and neither wanted to actually take the jump they'd primed themselves up for. like they both walked to the edge of a high dive and then shikamaru shook the board and they fell back terrified. HILARIOUS you thought they were going to kiss bc it didn't even occur to me. I am going to have to go back and read it! I love that. I mean, the intimacy is there. They're so dangerous together rn. (as you said, they both want it and they both know it).

Honestly though (per usual) Shikamaru is the big mess here -- like you said, his frustration and guilt is so overwhelming... I know she is also going through soooooo much (more than him honestly), but I'd date the temari in this story in a heartbeat over the shikamaru 😂 he's a wreck

long long response but thank you so much for sending this and hopefully everything written above makes some semblance of sense! and thank you SOOOOOO MUCH for reading! the fact that you're into it is literally the best compliment I am so thrilled. Thank you!

(oh god, now how to even unpack her still feeling her throat after he leaves.... what is going through her head tonight?!??? oy vey!)

#go easy #answered #anonymous #favorite favorite #i do think #if this were written from her pov #i would have her thought be like:#it feels to her as though he is choking her all the time anyway and so this is just to actualization of that #though i guess from his pov he also thinks she is the one choking him #ew why do i write such violent relationships #gross!#writing

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hinamie · 5 months ago

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